Anger
We all feel angry at times; it’s a natural response to threats and attacks, injustice and disappointment.
Anger is a powerful emotion and releasing the pressure that builds inside you can be essential to deal
with problems and move on. But if anger isn’t dealt with in a healthy way, it can have a significant effect
on your daily life, relationships, achievements and mental well-being.
What is anger?
Anger is one of the most basic human emotions. It is a physical and mental response to a threat or to
harm done in the past. Anger takes many different forms from irritation to blinding rage or resentment that
festers over many years.
“I get this bubble of rage. I go wild. I feel like crying because I don’t know how to control myself. It
happens too quickly.”
At any point in time, a combination of physical, mental and social factors interact to make us feel a certain
way. It’s different for each of us. Our feelings are influenced by our emotional make-up, how we view the
world, what happens around us and our circumstances. Like other emotions, anger rarely acts alone.
How does anger work?
As we go about our lives, we’re constantly weighing up situations and deciding what we think about them:
good or bad, safe or unsafe etc. How we interpret a situation influences how we feel about it. If we think
we are in danger, we feel afraid. If we feel we have been wronged, we feel angry. These feelings
determine how we react to the situation. We translate meanings into feelings very fast. With anger, that
speed sometimes means that we react in ways we later regret.
How do our bodies respond to anger?
Many of our emotions are linked to a particular physical response. Anger gets the mind and body ready
for action. It arouses the nervous system, increasing the heart rate, blood pressure, blood flow to
muscles, blood sugar level and sweating. It also sharpens the senses and increases the production of
adrenalin, a hormone produced at times of stress.
At the same time as these physical changes, anger is thought to affect the way we think. When we are
first faced with a threat, anger helps us quickly translate complex information into simple terms: ‘right’ or
‘wrong’ for instance. This can be useful in an emergency as we don’t waste valuable time weighing up
information that doesn’t instantly affect our safety or well-being.
But it can mean that we act before we’ve considered what else is relevant and made a rational decision
about how to behave. It may be that we need to take more time to look at the situation and deal with it
differently. When anger gets in the way of rational thinking we may give way to the urge to act
aggressively, propelled by the instinct to survive or protect someone from a threat.
Why do we get angry?
“I could scream down the throat of people who try to crowd into the train before people have the chance
to get off.”
Reasons for getting angry include:
• facing a threat to ourselves or our loved ones
• being verbally or physically assaulted
• suffering a blow to our self-esteem or our place within a social group
• being interrupted when pursuing a goal
• losing out when money is at stake
• someone going against a principle that we consider important
• being treated unfairly and feeling powerless to change this
• feeling disappointed by someone else or in ourselves
• having our property mistreated
If we think someone has wronged us on purpose, this can make us angrier. If we’re having a bad day and
are in a state of constant tension, we’re more likely to snap when something else goes wrong, even if it’s
something that wouldn’t usually bother us.
We may feel angry immediately or only feel angry later when we go back over a situation. Anger can
surface years later that has its roots in abuse or neglect long ago. Sometimes anger stays locked inside
us for decades because it wasn’t dealt with sufficiently at the time.
How do people behave when they are angry?
“When someone physically threatened my daughter when she was a newborn I exploded. I got a real
physical sense of something being different that I haven’t experienced before or since.”
Anger isn’t always negative. It can be a force for good. Moral outrage can drive people to campaign for
change, right wrongs and enforce the rules that govern our society.
People often think of anger and aggression as the same thing, but they aren’t. Anger is an emotional
state and aggression is just one of the ways that people behave when they are angry. Aggression often
takes over when people act on their instinct to protect themselves or others. Alcohol can make some
people act more aggressively and drug use can similarly lower our inhibitions.
People often express their anger verbally. They may:
• shout
• threaten
• use dramatic words
• bombard someone with hostile questions
• exaggerate the impact on them of someone else’s action
Some people who are angry get their own back indirectly by making other people feel guilty and playing
on that guilt. Others develop a cynical attitude and constantly criticize everything, but never address
problems constructively.
Some people internalize their anger. They may be seething inside and may physically shake, but they
don’t show their anger in the way they behave when they are around other people.
People who internalize their anger may self-harm when they are angry as a way of coping with intense
feelings they can’t express another way. This may give temporary relief from the angry feelings, but it
doesn’t solve the problems in the long-term.
What kind of problems can be linked to anger?
Anger in itself is neither good nor bad; it becomes a problem when it harms us or other people. Anger is
the emotion most likely to cause problems in relationships in the family, at work and with friends. People
with a long-term anger problem tend to be poor at making decisions, take more risks than other people
and are more likely to have a substance misuse problem.
Long-term and intense anger has been linked with mental health problems including depression, anxiety
and self-harm. It is also linked to poorer overall physical health as well as particular conditions, such as:
• high blood pressure
• colds and flu
• coronary heart disease
• stroke
• cancer
• gastro-intestinal problems
How can managing my anger help me?
“If I could have expressed my anger more openly and constructively it would have been less damaging to
me. Otherwise you carry the hurt with you.”
Most people get angry quite often, but their anger is within a normal and healthy range. Other people
experience anger frequently and intensely enough for it to interfere with their everyday life.
Both sets of people can benefit from learning how to deal with their anger more effectively. There’s lots of
evidence to suggest that managing your anger in a healthy way can help people look after their mental
and physical health, feel more positive about themselves, achieve their goals, solve problems and enjoy
relationships with the people around them.
Anger can lead you to action, or even violence, you will regret. Bottling up your anger for a long time isn’t
a good thing either. It’s important to deal with anger and move on, not let it stew inside you.
How can I manage my own anger?
Buy time
When you feel the first surge of anger boiling up inside you, pause for a moment. Think about what has
made you angry, think about the consequences of exploding in a rage and then choose how to respond.
Even in the middle of an argument, it’s not too late to take a deep breath and choose to express your
feelings differently. Give rational thinking time to kick in.
• Count to ten before you act.
• Drop your shoulders and breathe deeply to help you relax.
• If you feel the urge to throw something or hit out, remove yourself from the situation and try taking it out
on something soft like a cushion.
• Try screaming if it won’t disturb people near you, or scream into a pillow.
• Talk yourself down.
• Imagine yourself in a relaxing scene.
• Distract yourself.
• Pour out how you feel in writing or redirect your energy creatively.
• Offload to a friend.
Other helpful activities:
• Exercise
• Yoga or meditation
Be assertive
Being assertive is a healthy way to express anger.
• Tell people that you are feeling angry and why.
• Talk slowly and clearly.
• Use “I”.
• Make requests rather than demands.
• Say “I could” or “I might” instead of “I must”.
Know yourself
“Now I can control it. I just think ‘For goodness sake’. I recognize the situation for what it is.”
• What triggers your anger?
• What signs tell you you’re losing control?
• What patterns exist?
• What are the consequences?
• What calms you down?
• Are there triggers you could change?
Protect your mental health
• Keep physically active.
• Eat a balanced diet.
• Drink sensibly.
• Keep in touch with friends and loved ones.
• Take time to relax.
• Accept who you are.
• Care for others.
“Now I play the drums… It works really quickly. It takes my mind off it and then I just enjoy playing.”
Based on original content developed by The Mental Health Foundation.
More information: http://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/