Assertiveness

Improving Assertive Behaviors

1. Standing up for ones right no matter what the circumstances.

2. Correcting the situation when ones right are being violated.

3. Seeking respect and understanding for ones feelings about a particular situation.

4. Interacting in a mature manner with those to be offensive, defensive, hostile, attacking or otherwise unacceptable.

5. Direct behavior. Those using assertive behavior confront problems head on.

6. Verbal “I” statements

7. Taking the risk of being misunderstood as aggressive.

8. Being able to protect ones rights while protecting and respecting the rights of others.

9. Risk taking behavior that is not ruled by fear of rejection or disapproval, but is directed by the rational belief that, “I deserve to stand up for my rights.”

10. I have the right to say, “I don’t know.”

11. Rational thinking and the self-affirmation of personal worth, respect and rights.

12. A healthy style in which to conduct interpersonal relationships.

13. Finding a “win-win” solution to handling problems between two individuals.

3 Types of Communication

Non-Assertive behavior:

• The act of withdrawing from a situation.

• Passive in nature

• Denial of ones feelings

• Guilt

Examples:

• Oh, it’s nothing.

• Oh, that’s all right.

Aggressive behavior:

• The act of reacting emotionally to a situation.

• Self-enhancing

• Put down others feelings

• Hostility, humiliation of another person

Examples:

• You are crazy!

• Do it my way!

• Sarcastic remarks

Assertive behavior:

• The act of declaring that this is what I am, what I think and feel.

• Open, direct self-expression

• Allowing others to choose for themselves

Examples:

• I think we should…

• That seems unfair to me.

• I appreciate your help.

• I feel bad when…